https://wordsbyevanporter.com/what-i-learned-from-writing-for-the-onion-for-a-month/
In April/May of 2010, I spent four weeks as a freelance writer for The Onion News Network.
Besides looking great on a resume, it was an awesome gig and a huge learning experience. Not surprisingly, I get asked about it pretty often.
So here's everything I know about how to get a job writing for The Onion, and what I learned from my (short) time doing it.
Getting a job writing for The Onion is not easy. But there's no big secret to it, either.
The Onion has a jobs page on their website.
Yep. That's the big story behind how I got hired to write for The Onion: I went on their website and applied.
But here's the thing -- I did this at least twice with no luck before I got accepted.
Here's how it worked back then:
I would check the job listings frequently (obsessively), and every once in a blue moon, there'd be a position on there called Freelancer or Freelance Writer. You'd send in an email with your resume and samples, and they'd send back an application for you to complete. You had to return two things:
**A list of 20 headlines** and concepts for video sketches. (All the job listings I ever saw were for The Onion News Network -- their video leg. I never saw anything for editorial positions.)
**A completed script** for one of their news segment sketches based on ideas or concepts they provided.
Like I said, I went through this process (the final product is often known in the industry as a "packet") at least twice with no success. It doesn't sound like much, but it is TOUGH. I labored over those 20 headlines like you wouldn't believe. Even the best ideas start to look like shit after you've stared at them for a week.
And the scripts. Man, those were hard. They never gave you blockbuster concepts to work with, and I think that was on purpose. It was always some kind of dry, subtle joke -- they wanted to see what you could do and how far you would take it.
But the third time I applied was a charm. I'll never forget opening my email and seeing these words:
The Onion News Network would like to congratulate you on being selected as a Contributor for the IFC series. We had a huge number of applicants, and we are thrilled with how strong this group is.
I remember texting my wife -- girlfriend at the time. She was in class and stepped into the hall to call me. We both basically screamed on the phone for a couple of minutes.